


I didn't know I was lonely 'til I saw your face

by BillieJoeArmstrong



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, like.. serious angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 06:43:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20719820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BillieJoeArmstrong/pseuds/BillieJoeArmstrong
Summary: Years before moving to Schitt's Creek, David leaves in the night without plans to ever come back. But he meets a perfect stranger who changes his life and gives him hope for the future.





	I didn't know I was lonely 'til I saw your face

**Author's Note:**

> Serious trigger warning for suicidal thoughts/talk. There is a happy ending, but please stay safe and don't read if you think the content will trigger you.
> 
> Title and inspiration come from "I Wanna Get Better" by Bleachers.

David didn’t know where he was, nor did he have any idea where he was heading.

Last thing he remembered was being at a house party at some friend of an acquaintance’s loft in Brooklyn. David was standing in a darkened corner, watching as everyone else had a better time than him. The room smelled of sweat and sex. The floor felt tacky under his shoes, the result of a lifetime’s worth of spilled drinks. David himself was more than a little drunk, swaying as he watched ex-friends making out with girls he didn’t know.

He knew nobody would notice if he left, all too caught up in the pleasures of fleeting romance and temporary highs. So he pushed himself off the wall and stumbled to the door.

Usually, New York at night was a wonder – the kind of place romcoms chose as a setting because it was so enchanting. But it had been raining for three days, so most people were avoiding the streets.

David was not most people, and he seized the opportunity to be alone. Loneliness was familiar territory for David Rose. He had never had so much a friend, as cycles of self-indulgent takers who came and went and left him behind.

The glow of the streetlights reflected off the rain, flickering in time with the ambient sound of the storm. Normally, David would be concerned of what this weather was doing to his hair. But that night, he couldn’t bring himself to care. Perhaps it was because he was so drunk. Or, perhaps, it was because he wasn’t sure he would be coming home in the morning.

Not that David was sure what ‘home’ meant anymore. He spent so much time moving around that there wasn’t a place that truly felt like his. He’d heard the saying ‘home is where the heart is’ and if that were the case, he was truly fucked. Even the Rose family mansion, where he had been raised, was just a house.

David stopped wandering aimlessly when he came across a bridge. He didn’t know what bridge it was, just that it was high, and overlooked an inky black body of water. David walked slowly to the edge of the bridge, savouring each step like they would be his last. Maybe they would. He peered over the barrier, staring at the ripples the rain made in the water, contemplating his feelings.

It’s not like any of his so-called friends back at the house party would notice if he was gone in the morning. His parents wouldn’t know anything was wrong for at least a month, and even then, they’d only figure it out when he didn’t show up to his mother’s next movie premiere. Alexis would probably celebrate and call dibs on David’s collection of skincare products.

No, nobody would miss David Rose if he were gone.

While David stood reflecting in the pouring rain, he didn’t notice a bus pull over at a stop near the bridge. He didn’t notice a man with a backpack and umbrella get off the bus and jog over toward David. He didn’t notice the man was standing next to him until the rain stopped hitting his head.

David looked up into the warm brown eyes of a complete stranger, standing close enough that the blue umbrella sheltered them both from the downpour. The man’s expression was open and friendly, and David instinctively felt he could trust this guy.

“Sorry if I’m intruding,” the guy said, voice raised to be heard over the rain, “it’s just… I saw you on the bus, and I thought _that guy looks like he could do with some company_.” The man held out a hand. “I’m Patrick.”

David wanted to cry. His hands trembled as he shook Patrick’s hand, holding it for a moment too long because it was the first gentle touch he had felt in a long time. Nobody had done something _for_ David in forever, not without wanting something in return. And here was this guy, a complete stranger, who got off his bus early to stand in the rain with an umbrella, just because _David_ looked like he needed someone.

Patrick frowned, concern written across his face. “What’s wrong?” he asked gently.

Maybe it was the alcohol still in his system, or maybe it was the fact that David had been holding so much in, for so long, and someone had just given him the opportunity to let it out, but David began bawling. Fat tears welled up in his eyes and rolled down his face and David started spilling his heart out. All his fears, his anxieties, his abandonment and trust issues. He told Patrick how he wasted his time getting drunk and hooking up with strangers because it temporarily filled the void in his soul that craved love and attention, even if everyone only stuck around long enough to spend David’s cash and leave him for someone better. How he felt used by everyone he ever knew, never respected. How he was scared that nothing was going to change, ever. He explained how he wandered off tonight, not sure he would ever come back because he couldn’t keep living an empty life.

And Patrick listened to all of it. At some point, his free hand migrated to David’s shoulder. Holding him, comforting him, as he broke down. And when David was finished, Patrick stayed.

It was silent between them for a moment as David tried to calm down, his breathing shaky and uneven. David looked at Patrick with tears in his eyes, a cry for help.

“It won’t always be like this,” Patrick said quietly, as the rain began to slow. “Things will get better.”

David tried to scoff and roll his eyes, but it came out as another choked sob.

“I mean it,” Patrick insisted, lowering his hand to squeeze David’s arm. “Someday your life will change. You’ll find the people who care about you, and who want to stay. You’ll realise you’re worth so much more than what you’re getting now. And you’ll build a life that feels full and real.”

“But what if nothing ever changes?” David whined, “what if there’s nobody out there who wants me?” He wanted to believe Patrick, he really did. He wanted the man to be his guardian angel, his shining knight, who stepped in and said everything right to make David better. But, really, he was just some stranger who felt bad for the guy standing out in the rain.

“There is.” Patrick said, “someday you’ll meet someone – or maybe you already have, and you don’t know it – and that person will love you, heart and soul, and it will be the easiest thing they’ve ever done.”

Something about Patrick’s delivery, honest and raw and beautiful, felt so real to David. He spoke like he truly believed what he was saying – like he believed in David. This man didn’t know him; he’d only seen David at his worst. He wasn’t trying to get on his good side for money or sex or attention. He was just looking at this guy, standing in the rain, drenched hair hanging over his face, and seeing someone who deserved happiness.

“Did that happen for you? Did you get a happily ever after?” David found himself asking.

Patrick shook his head. “Not yet,” he smiled, “but I’m waiting around in hope, and you should too.”

David drew in a breath and nodded. “Okay,” he said, barely above a whisper, and stepped back, dropping his hand from the barrier. He wasn’t cured. His heart wasn’t unbroken after one conversation with a stranger. But he could make it through tonight, and see what tomorrow brings.

The rain had stopped, and Patrick put his umbrella down to take David’s hand.

“Come on.” Patrick smiled softly, “I’ll walk you home.”

When David woke up the next morning, in his bed with a roaring hangover, he barely remembered the night before. The sunlight streaming in through open curtains stung his eyes, and there was a pounding in his ears. Any memory of warm, brown eyes or a promise that all would be okay faded quickly like a dream, but a sense of warmth and comfort lingered.

Years later, while laying in bed with his arms wrapped around the love of his life and feeling happiness like he never had before, David remembered that night. He remembered a man who saved his life. A perfect stranger who promised him he would live the life he wanted – with a family who cared about him, friends who didn’t leave, and someone who loved him heart and soul. David couldn’t remember the man’s name, or his face, but he remembered the vow to wait around and see what the future held, just in case it was beautiful.

_It was worth the wait, _David decided, thinking of just hours earlier when he had stood at the top of a mountain with a box of rings in his hands and tears in his eyes, looking at _his_ Patrick down on one knee in front of him.

David Rose had found his home, his heart, his happily ever after.


End file.
